4 questions to lead into the new year
As a first time social worker years ago, one of my mentors shared a piece of advice with me that’s stuck with me till today. He taught me how powerful it can be to ask the right questions when working with clients no matter what stage of change they were experiencing. We can sometimes get stuck in circles if we focus only on the answers in front of us about how we’re feeling or any problem in our life, but if we learn to ask better questions, we get a chance to zoom out and see the situation from multiple angles. This leads to wiser choices moving forward inshaAllah.
As we head into the new year, consider journaling or reflecting about these questions as a starting point, before diving deeper into the Reclaim & Renew Workbook I have available.
Past and Future
With the world moving in a million different directions, we can sometimes feel time passing without clarity or purpose. What if you shifted your focus to a stance of self-awareness by asking:
What do you want to leave behind?
Perhaps you want to leave behind nagging self-criticism, old resentments and story-lines that aren’t helpful, or excessive worries over things out of your control. Maybe there are habits that you’d like to change before they turn into greater sources of poor health or guilt. What can you eliminate as you head into the next year?
What do you want to take forward?
Now you can think about the good from this year – the strengths and positive habits you built upon, the good people in your life who were there for you, the love and blessings Allah (swa) sent your way. Consider making a list of the good things to take forward into the next year. These can be the tiniest things to start with such as simply waking up in a positive state, making one heartfelt du’a every day, smiling in the mirror and at your loved ones, stretching your body every morning and night, taking a few deep breaths with gratitude, smelling your morning tea/coffee before your first sip, and so on.
Notice.
What made a difference?
One of the questions I’ve been reflecting on most is this one. If I ask myself which choices made the biggest differences for my well-being this year, here are a few things that come up for me:
Joining Exhale – A membership group for mothers who wish to make art alongside motherhood. Despite not being able to participate in all the amazing things this group does, I benefited from my association and connecting with the resources, ideas, and people as often as I could. I felt an immediate jump in my creative pursuits and the possibilities I could pursue. Is there an inspiring group you could join as you head into the new year? Look for opportunities and jump on at least one!
Taking mini-trips with my family – Seeing family and going on mini road trips to explore, making meaningful memories, taking intentional breaks all made a difference in feeling less like we are (still) living through a pandemic. Making a list of all the things that are possible given your situation, resources, time blocks, and so on will open up a sense possibilities.
De-cluttering and re-organizing my spaces – Although it’s something I aspire to do monthly, it often gets left till the very end and ends up contributing to mental clutter. I tried to re-organize my spaces in a way that made sense to everyone in my family (e.g.: pantry, tea area, closets, creative zones, etc.). Which areas in your spaces could use some TLC?
Reflect.
What feeling did you experience the majority of this year?
In your current season, consider reflecting on the feeling(s) you’ve felt most often. I like using this helpful list for clients in the past. Depending on the feeling that comes up for you most often, you can start to assess what actions to take to make the biggest difference in maintaining good feelings and minimizing less satisfying feelings.
Approaching our life challenges with a scientists’ hat can also help us stand outside of the problem and be objective in a situation we otherwise may take personally. Questions such as, “What’s another way to look at this?” .. “How might I..” … “What if I tried to…” These questions are inquisitive and exploratory.
A bonus question to consider is: “What have I accepted about myself that may or may not true?” Since so much of our lives and narratives take place within our own minds, it’s helpful to assess what we tell ourselves about who we are: our characteristics, traits, habits, abilities, talents, likes, dislikes and so on.
Are there things you found out not to be true about yourself this past year? Are there older layers you are ready to shed to make room for newer changes? Are there traits you’ve grown up hearing about yourself that aren’t accurate anymore? It’s okay to paint the walls a different colour, to evolve, and let go of older versions of ourselves even if they feel familiar and comfortable.
If you’re looking to go further into self-awareness, you can check out my planning with your personality in mind series right here. You’ll get specific lists for 9 different planning types throughout the series along with a mini-course on the Enneagram.
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Till next time,
Asma
