5 Questions for an Extraordinary Ramadan
Bismillah…
I’m feeling especially blessed and privileged these days with the numerous ways Allah (swa) has given us ease through these challenging times, such that we are still able to feel safe, secure, have hope and faith, and stay connected with loved ones.
We are blessed again to witness another Ramadan and what a huge gift this is for the believers! We can rejoice and experience the sweetness of ibadah in our homes while the world carries on. Allah (swa) has given us this special gift to stop worrying about everything around us and simply focus on Him and inshaAllah with His special mercy, this test will also pass.
I want to share with you a few prompts that I’ve been using to help me craft the best Ramadan experience I can for myself and my family.
“This Ramadan will be outstanding if…”
Ask yourself what you envision as an outstanding Ramadan. Break down that vision into tangible goals for each week and day (without having a really strict schedule .. I prefer having a rhythm). For me, my family and I are reviewing one of our Hadith books together, I am doing my daily Qur’an recitation, increasing sadaqah, and also memorizing a few passages I love reciting. I also want to maintain my nightly taraweeh, and challenge myself to study word-for-word meanings of 5 passages I’ve selected from the Qur’an. The point of sharing this is to simply encourage us to maintain the goals we know we can do and also pick a few to challenge us to make this Ramadan outstanding for ourselves. Just like we work so hard for an exam or to reach the next level in dunya, this is our time to push ourselves as much as we can inshaAllah.
“How can I make my ordinary actions extra special for Allah (swa)?”
Attaching sincere intentions to every action we do whether it’s meal prep, Salaah, spending time with our family, helping our kids manage their thoughts and feeling .. any act we do can be raised in its’s reward simply by its intention and excellence. We look at our basic daily ibadah and routines and try to make them extra special this month inshaAllah with the full conviction that Allah (swa) sees and knows our efforts. Try to…
Elongate your sujood and du’as
Perfect your recitation
Make wudhu with intentionality
Look at your loved ones with love and admiration
Listen more intently
Attach yourself to the ahadith of the Prophet (swa) and visualize the Prophet’s life and sacrifice
Increase your dhikr with sincere devotion
”What do I want to remember most about this Ramadan…”
As this is the most unique Ramadan of our lifetime, we can reflect on ways we want to remember this Ramadan with our family. For me, I want my daughter to participate in as many aspects of the Ramadan as possible. I want her to remember the recitation of Qur’an in our home, our special area for taraweeh, the smell of memorable and healthy food, and fun activities I pepper in throughout the day. There will be lapses and the “Ramadan dip” but I’m hoping to be prepared while also taking things day by day .. because, let’s face it .. this is our first time ever going through Ramadan in quarantine.
”Which parts of my heart and nafs need extra love and attention?”
We all have some dark corners of our hearts where we maybe keep old stories and replay difficult feelings we’ve experienced in the past. Now is a great time to explore our inner world and notice the things that feel heavy. What parts of our nafs are holding us back .. perhaps remnants of anger, resentments, insecurities, jealousy, or a general sense of lack which shows up in our day through behaviours or even inaction. Notice what you need to let go of and make progress towards nafs improvement goals for yourself so you can feel free and more focused on your true purpose and gifts inshaAllah.
”How can I sustain my new habits after Ramadan?”
Ramadan is only one month but we have an entire year ahead of us to carry on the positive habits we establish now. Consider making note of spiritual habits and family routines that you want to keep with you moving forward. Schedule them into your calendar now so you get a ping or reminder encouraging you to do the habit 2, 3, 6 months from now inshaAllah. For example, if you want to continue the habit of praying Qiyam-ul-Layl, or memorizing a new passage each month, put this into your calendar as a reminder in the future:
“Pray 8 Rakaat Qiyam”
“Memorize Ayaat ___- ___ of Surah_____”
“Read Qur’an as a family”
This way, you will continue reaping the benefits of the practices you are doing now and sustain them for the year inshaAllah.
As I leave you with these thoughts…
May you experience beautiful hidden and apparent blessings this Ramadan. May you feel the sweetness of worship and recitation of Qur'an. May your heart heal from old hurts and stories. May your love for family and community increase exponentially. May you take brave new steps to share your gifts with the world. May we reunite in happy times again❤️. Ramadan Mubarak from me to you🤗.
P.S.: I am working on a Self-Healing Workbook that will be available inshaAllah within a few weeks. It’s meant as a tool for self-knowledge and healing negative patterns that come from how we view ourselves and our world. I’m working very hard to make sure it incorporates many tools I’ve used in my clinical practice. Stay tuned!
